so explain again why im purple
no
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
