I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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