Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I did not marry a roomba.
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