when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
