I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
