The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
