She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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