let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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