My friends, they love my intelligence
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
