White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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