Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
