is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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