if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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