I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
