He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
