Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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