The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I understand Curling. That high.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
