Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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