I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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