Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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