Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think I died a long time ago.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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