Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
