I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
