I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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