so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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