i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
