Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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