Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
