Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And then my night got REAL pukey
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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