Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
