U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize