i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
