maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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