she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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