I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
