I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
