that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
