the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
