your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
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