...so i touched it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
