On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
