Ambien. No doubt about it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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