i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
