go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
