Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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