Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
