There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Randomize
