So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
