you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
