You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
