walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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