Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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