i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
