All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
