my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
