Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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