if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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