Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
