I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize